Gratitude List Number One

Hello everyone! So, a long time ago I mentioned a practice I do with a close friend of mine where we share a gratitude list every night (neither have us fulfilled the promise of a daily list, but we still keep one and share it when we have time), and I then promised I’ll share, at least one, of these lists with you all! So here is mine for today 🙂

• God. If you are not a religious person, or if religion triggers you, then feel free to scroll past this one; I won’t judge you ^-^ but today I am grateful for God, and that is because no matter how far I fall into depression or how frustrated I get in my cynicism, I always seem to bounce back into a much lighter, and clearer state  of mind when I begin to focus inward into what I believe. I believe that God typically works through it’s believers; no matter what religion or what deity you follow, by believing in a God/Goddess it eventually starts guiding you. With that, I feel that my faith in love often times invokes a loving deity to “lend me energy” or “grant me strength” so that I can get up and keep attempting to spread that love. True, my ideals are jaded and that is something you can see and hear when I speak upon them, but through that jaded, cynical, cold-hearted exterior I still believe in warmth,  optimism,  and kindness and still do my best to be a presence to spread it; and when I am deep in pessimism or cynicism, I am always  granted the strength to break that jaded ego and rise again in the softness and compassion that is at my core. 
• My friends. I am grateful for my friends because without them I would be in a cynical mood 24/7. They have opened their hearts to me, to where they will listen to my emotions and give me clear-headed feedback and make me see the positivity in life, or at least see where I am being irrational. I also choose my friends wisely, and all of my friends are the wisest, smartest, kindest, and absolutely LOVELIEST people on the planet and I can sit there and talk to them for ages because they are simply that cool. They also don’t seem to be judgemental with me giving them endless compliments, “I love you’s,” and they don’t seem to mind me trying to take care of them as much as they take care of me. The cynical mask and “cold-hearted” mask that I have on through most of my days and encounters always slips off a little bit, or completely falls off with them since they allow me to give, give, and give without judging me like the rest of the world does (I have nicknamed one of my friends “pumpkin,” and she hasn’t seemed to mind it even though it sounds more than friendly. She just reminds me of a pumpkin, and I think if I was to go up to somebody else and ask “Hey, how are you? Can I call you pumpkin? you remind me of a pumpkin” they would think I am weird and never speak to me again. Also, people seem to find random compliments as weird too). In summary, I am sososo grateful for my friends because they allow me to be and they are blessings in my life, and the world.

• The people I follow and those who follow me. I have a couple of social media accounts; a wordpress, an instagram, and a tumblr mainly. Due to the fact I enjoy being influential, being influenced, and meeting new people; I am grateful for the people I follow and those who follow me on these accounts.  As I have mentioned before, I do have episodes of depression (I have bpd so I have episodes of nearly every freaking mental health disorder listed on the  DSM-5 , sighhhh) and if it wasn’t for people  influencing me on Instagram through their stories or two of going through depression, I would not have even thought resting would be good for my depression, sInce my depressive moods are often based around my financial struggles. I figured working on a skill  or a plan that can help me make money would help me recover; but I never really practiced self-care.  Through following people on social media, I have picked up self-care tips and tricks that have helped me as well as the wisdom to know that staying in bed all day is just as productive as working all day if you are in a bad mental health spot.
• With my followers, I am grateful to all of those who follow me because with out you all, I would honestly just be writing on a blank canvas. Just be reading and engaging with what I write, you inspire and motivate me to write with higher quality english each time I write; in other words, you all help me sharpen my hard and soft communication skills. On top of that, it is also awesome to actually meet and talk to you all because most of my followers on all my platforms seem to have similar ideals that I have, and it’s refreshing to know that more people than me and my group of friends put love and its “cousins,” as you will (charity, harmony, kindness, compassion) over money or power. So, thank you all ❤